Friday, March 25, 2011

The Grass Is Always Greener On The Other Fence"


Everyone has heard the statement, the grass is always greener on the other side. That statement basically says that the lives, things, and conditions of others look better then the lives, things and conditions that we are personally living in at the moment. Over the last ten or more years though, when I hear the statement - “The grass is always greener on the other side”, then I add - “yeah and the water bill is higher”.



The second part of that statement - the price of the water - is something that we usually forget. To have X, Y and Z in your life you usually have to give up A, B, and C. What people have, what they obtain, what they possess, usually comes by them giving up other things. The price of the water, i.e. what it takes to have those things, are higher then you are currently willing to pay. I say that because if you were willing to pay that water bill you would already be living like the ones you are envying.

What we fail to understand is that most of the time while we are looking at someone else’s greener grass, someone else is looking at us and wishing they had our life. We are looking at the lives of others, not seeing what they give / gave up to get where they are, and someone else is looking at your life the same way. We rarely see how much we really have because we are so busy looking at the lives of others. There are probably a lot of people that would love to have what your life looks like from the outside.




Some people have green grass due to moral and spiritual sacrifices. They have the life the world tells us to desire, but they have failed or bad marriages, terrible relationships, and other types of issues within their life. No one has it all. You have to decide what you want and then work toward that. By simply making that decision you also decide there are things that you are not going to do, not going to pursue, and things you are not going to prioritize. It is the rare person that can have professional, relationship, physical, emotional and spiritual success. The usual pattern is one or two areas completely dominate the persons life, and the other areas suffer. The area/s that dominate may rotate a bit, but the pattern is the same - one or two areas controlling the life of the person with the rest of their life taking a back seat. Most of the time we are looking at the outside of the person’s life and missing the majority of the details about the person.

That outside of the life is the real key to this discussion. The outside of someone’s life is what we see, not the inside. The inside of someone’s life is where the struggles, the pain, the frustration is, and that is what we rarely see or understand. We see the business success, but we miss the family devastation. We see the big house, but miss the fact that the family can barely eat most nights. We see the new car, but miss the fact that they live in a small home. We see the happy family, what we do not see is how hard the family has worked to stay together. We see the successful ministry, but we do not see all the work that it has taken to achieve that success. We see the balanced life, but we do not see the decisions to not participate in harmful activities and to not prioritize some things society would tell them to pursue. The basic question is what are you going to prioritize, and what are you going to let suffer, to achieve what you want in life. Many times we look to others to help teach us how to correctly prioritize to achieve our goals.

God does not desire us to lust or covet the lives of others. A large part of the process about learning from others is looking at their lives, and then doing what it takes to follow the path to success they have followed. That is likely going to mean a shift in priorities, and some new time management skills.

To learn these skills means that we have to look at more then the surface life of the person. We actually have to get to know the person, the real person, and seeing what they sacrifice, what they prioritize, how they manage themselves and their time, what they struggle with, and what frustrates their growth and development. It is easy to say you want your life to be different, the hard thing to do is to take the steps that will bring about those changes.

But funny, alex nova and renji think that the grass is greener because the neighbors have sprinklers and use fertilizer! HaHahAHAHAHAha..

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